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No way you'd see people this weird in the hipper parts of Manhattan or Brooklyn -- this is upstate weird; detached form reality in a scary/awesome way weird.
Middle aged people originally from Denmark who now support themselves making stained-glass portraits of the Virgin Mary in their back shed, who unwind after a long day of "work" with a crushed-up oxycontin stirred into a glass of Slo Gin mixed with RC Cola, while listening to bad world-music inspired drum and bass weird. David Lynch weird.
And I love it.
Yesterday Naval Academy "Plebes" attempted to scale a 21-foot-tall, lubed up obelisk. There is nothing homo-erotic about this, these young, virile, greased up young men working as a team to conquer this hard, slippery, historical erection, I can assure you.
Credit Angus with this =0
"The face of a man is usually an open book to most women.
They can read practically anything in our faces.
I’ve known ladies who could tell the size of my penis, bank account and the status of my sex life by taking only one look at me.
Of course, the look was followed by the lady’s departure in the opposite direction."
Wow.
Ok, why she may possibly not win anyway. I'm not writing off the Clintonses... they've got some evil devil powers and dark magic. Hillary reminds me of the voodoo woman with the wooden leg who kills Harry Dean Stanton in David Lynch's "Wild at Heart."
But Hillary just isn't cool. And Obama is pretty much the coolest dude ever. Compare these two photos from their youths:
This isn't going to cut it:
Hillary's like this midwestern mom who picks out the worst clothes when she drags her kids shopping, all the while referring to them as being "sharp."
Obama is the guy who is like, "dude, don't go shopping with your mom, lets smoke this joint, walk around the supermarket with our johnsons hanging out, hit on some cougars, shoplift beer and junk food and inhale all the nitrous oxide out of the whipped cream dispensers. Who is with me!!!"
And what a night it was. Was it Hillary's debate performance that led to her come-from-behind victory, or was it her tear-filled emotional outburst? Why does New Hampshire appear to be the only state that has a big boner for John McCain?
Let us not take the time and energy to discourse what this primary means for the candidates and our nation. Instead, lets steal a bunch of photos from the NYT and give them funny captions. That's what blogs are for!
It's amazing to what degree cheap plastic deli spoons have a propensity for drawing blood. Who invented these things, Pinhead? Seriously, they're razor sharp. Prostiitutes smuggle them into the pen in their vages to cut disrespecting hos.
Anyway, I went to the gym this morning for the first time in ages. After my third set of squats, I became incredibly dizzy and wasn't sure whether I was going to pass out, or barf, or pass out then barf. It was alarming. My pulse was going at about 200bpm and all the blood rushed from my brain into my spindley little legs. I'm looking forward to being sore as hell tomorrow. I've discovered that the best workout routine is to wake up, not shower, and go straight to the gym. Then shower and change for work at the gym, after, presumably, exercising. It's a good system since it commits you right off the bat.
Wanted to give a quick rundown of movies I've seen recently:
1) No Country for Old Men. Brilliant, brutal implementation of Cormac McCarthy's vision from the Coen bros. I never read the book but I have read Blood Meridian, which has similar characters and themes. The Coens show no mercy towards their characters, or the audience, intentionally wrecking any neat plot resolution and creating a giant emotional letdown before proceeding into dark philosophical territory at the end of the film.
2) Walk Hard: Ok ok, before all you dorks criticize me for seeing this, let me say that I hate biopics and look forward to any opportunity to skewer them. And this does an ok job at that, but it's only ok. It could and should have gone much farther and gotten weirder (penis scene excluded) but copped out and instead you got a mediocre comedy. I'd watch it again, hung over Sunday style, or as Ben likes to call it, on an "eat day."
3) Sweeney Todd: Really, really good. It's a musical, but a musical full of Japanese Samurai Movie style blood splatters - beautiful, macabre, goth vision by Burton. This film will go in the spank bank of every 300 pound teenage goth girl in America. BTW, I've decided that while as a general rule I don't like musicals, I do like musicals set in Fin de Seicle London. I caught myself watching Oliver on TV the other day and thought it kicked ass. Righty-o, govnuh.
4) I am Legend. This movie is sort of cool. The sets of post-apocalyptic NYC are pretty sweet. The mutant zombie beasts are really, really scary. Will Smith pulls the acting job off well. But believe me now, listen to me later: It is no Omega Man.
5) Juno. Juno is a good little movie, but not worthy of the buzz. Good discussion of the film on Melissa's blog. It's funny at times and the performances are solid, but most characters lacked any real depth, aside from Juno's, it was full of obvious and and painfully trendy visual metaphors, such as the sterile McMansion vs. smaller, "real" homes, and didn't seem to be about anything. Juno doesn't speak or behave like a teenager, and discovers true love. It's weird. It's the typical take on adolescence not being linked to age, that self discovery leads to adulthood, and it can happen at any age, blah blah blah.
American Gladiators made a triumphant return to the small screen last night. It was a wonderful throwback to a level of TV hokeyness that I thought may have been lost for the ages. My favorite Gladiator has to be Wolf - he's has a crazy pirate beard and howls before each match, which in no way gets repetitive, let me assure you. I think the writer's guild should investigate the show - there are a lot of hammy one liners and canned Q & As that were written by somebody. Solidarity bitches! I was a wee bit concerned that the increase in production values on the show may ruin the purity of the first iteration - too much stage lighting and effects, dizzying camera work - but things settled down and the action was incredible. These gladiators were beating the living shit out of the contestants in some of the events - such as the Q-bert pyramid king of the hill thing, and my favorite, Powerball. Melissa live blogged the show and has some good observations here.
In other TV news the Giants finally won a playoff game. Sweet. Very exciting game, Manning played very well and our defense came alive and gave the Bucs a hard time. The first quarter, though, was very scary. Thankfully the Giants have gotten good at making adjustments, and they clearly did so.
I missed the Republicans in the NH debate but I did enjoy the democrats - particularly Edwards and Obama ganging up on Hillary. Poor Richardson has got to go. His tragicomic "What's wrong with experience?" soliloquy made me really sad. Hey Richardson, there's nothing wrong with experience, there is, however, something wrong with you.
Anyway, that's my weekend recap. Cheers to one and all.
Some of you may have seen this already. I just stumbled upon it. One of the funniest things I've seen in while. It's a Japanese gameshow where a group of contestants must each draw straws to have something horrible happen to them. But since they're in a library, they must remain as silent as possible.
Anybody who knows me knows that I am a bit directionally challenged. After 10 years in NYC I just recently had a major breakthrough where I finally can conceptually understand whatsubway exit signs such as "3rd Avenue South East Corner," for example, mean. Fortunately I now no longer have to think at all. The DOT is unveiling new directional decals at subway exits.
Getting off the subway,
completely disoriented, and having to squint to read street signs in
each direction, or worse, walking in the wrong
direction for a block, well those days are over sister. The decals will
appear in midtown, and look quite nice. Thanks to streetsblog for the tip.
